How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
