We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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