So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
