We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
