He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
