forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he was CRYING into my vagina
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize