Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
