OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I need moral support for this bender
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
