We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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