This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
