I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
