yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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