He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
