So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
