make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
