At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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