I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
