Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
