it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
