chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
