i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
