The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
