wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
