she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize