Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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