there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
