Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
