question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
