I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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