David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
