my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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