i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
