I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
