She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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