Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
