i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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