They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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