Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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