So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
