we have officially lost it.
My balls are so social today.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
