I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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