I feel like abortions should bother me more
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
