More tranny stories later!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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