I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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