he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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