its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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