My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
