my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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