i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
