dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
